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Purpose

Jan 6 2014

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How many of you have ever heard some derivation of the saying:

Do what you love and the money will follow

I have found this to be a VERY tricky thing for several reasons. I want to share these with you so that you can hopefully follow your heart with a more informed brain.

1) You Have to Know What You Love

This may seem like a minor point, after all don’t we all know what we love doing?  The sad thing is, a lot of us could be mistaken. I spent MONTHS way back in 2006 figuring this out.  And I had the answer right there in front of me, but I discarded it. When I made a list of my top occupations, writer was number one.  But I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to make a living off of writing (at least not fantasy fiction) within any short timeframe.  It takes most dedicated writers YEARS to get to a point where they can support themselves (let alone a family) with their writing.  So I told myself that I would do that as a hobbie and instead I would pursue the second thing on my list: coaching.

So even someone as self-aware as myself, who had the answer right in front of them, didn’t follow it.  Instead I followed something which I “really liked”, but it wasn’t my “love” occupation.

2) The Money Will Follow…Eventually

This is what the saying should say.  Yes, if you do what you love, your passion will show through and you will make money doing it … eventually.  My wife and I are both writers.  One of the reasons I discounted writing as an option for me back in 2006 was because my wife was already doing it and not making any money (at that time).  She has now been writing for more than ten years (that’s ten years as a full time writer) and written more than 10 novels along with some novellas, and she is only now  making money doing it.  She started really making money back in 2012, but it has fluctuated since then, still not quite a “steady” livable income.  I don’t say this to deride her ability, she is a great author, and works tirelessly at her craft (she just wrote over 30,000 words over the holidays on a new project).  She is a machine and exceptionally creative.

My point is this: sometimes when you follow your heart and do the things you love, it will take (what some might consider) a long time before you’re making good money doing it.  My wife knows that her craft is one where it takes time to build up a solid income (mostly because you need to have a lot of books out there each bringing a little in), and she works day in and day out to achieve her goal of being financially self-sufficient.  She will get there too, thought it may take a couple more years.  So be prepared to work a “day job” in the meantime while you follow your heart.

3) You Need A Passion to SHARE what you love

Perhaps the saying should read: “Share with passion what you love and the money will follow…eventually”.  You can love doing something, but if you never share it with anyone, if you keep it to yourself, chances are you aren’t going to make much money doing it.  Just like I did with my writing.  Since 2006 I have written a lot, but I didn’t necessarily share it (yes I wrote some plays and shared them, but I’m not counting that).  I loved WRITING, not editing and publishing and all that stuff.  I just wanted to tell a story.  Even now it takes a lot of effort for me to go through the publishing process.  And what would drastically diminish that effort is having more passion for the sharing of my gift, that thing I love doing.

I am an introvert by nature and though I have a healthy social life, I was never one to do much “networking” or talk about business stuff.  Doing that takes a lot of passion.  I learned something really early on as a coach – the most successful coaches were not necessarily those who ‘coached’ the best, they were those who ‘marketed’ the best.  I find this to be true in a lot of businesses.  If you want to do what you love AND you want money doing it – you need to learn how to also have great passion for SHARING what you love.

Me I never had much passion for talking about or sharing coaching (because it was not my “love”, my calling), but get me talking about writing and you’ll see the passion spill out all over the place.

Conclusion

So yes, please, by all means, follow your heart (it will never lead you astray if you listen close) and do those things you love doing, but do it informed.

The money may not come today or tomorrow or even this year, but if you are sure of what you love and you are sharing it passionately, then yes it will come…eventually.

I say this not to discourage, but to enlighten.  Too many of us try to do what we love but lose heart when the money or success isn’t immediate.  Well all I’m saying is: be persistent, keep trying, work a day job if you need to.  Do whatever it takes.

You’ll get there in time.

 

 

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Categories: Awareness, Career, Motivation, Persistence, Purpose 

Jan 3 2014

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In my last post, I had mentioned some “Big Changes” to come. Want to know what they are?

So in the last three years I’ve had a lot of rather significant realizations, accomplishments, pitfalls, and trials.

To sum up:

Coaching is something I love doing, and (according to my clients) something I do well, but it just isn’t working for me financially at the moment. I am going to continue coaching, but it isn’t going to be my focus any more.

Instead I am focusing on two things:

  • Inspirational Speaking and…
  • Writing

Why the change?

Again to sum up:

Life is short and I need to follow my heart.

Where is my heart leading me? (you ask)  To tell stories.

Writing has always been my first love and now I am going to be doing more of it.  As well, I want to be out in front of more people, tell my story and inspiring others to find their purpose or find true happiness!

Part of the research break I started three years ago was to distil my message down to a core nugget of meaning.  Yes, my purpose is to make the world a happier place, but what was my message?  What was it I wanted to say to the world and focus my coaching and speaking on.  Was it just happiness?  Was is purpose?  Was there more to it?

As it turns out, there is a LOT more to it. What resonated the most with me was the following message: to entertain and inspire.  this may change or be altered slightly in the future, but that’s what’s inspiring me at the moment.

This is HOW I want to make the world a happier place.  Sure I can do this through coaching, but that isn’t my preferred medium.  I want to tell stories that entertain and inspire, and that… is best done through writing or speaking.

I wrote a book on happiness … and let it sit there doing nothing because my editor said it wouldn’t sell.  In part I think she was right because I was trying to write the kind of book I was reading, a research based “here is what happiness is and how it helps” sort of thing, but I hadn’t really done any scientific, double-blind, studies like those authors had.  I just had my own experience, that of my clients, and the research I had done reading and extrapolating from others. So it’s on hold for the moment until I find the right message for it.  Perhaps that message is “to entertain and inspire” or it may be something else.

What I KNOW about writing is – it won’t happen without an inspiration a “breath” of meaning behind every word you put down.  Right now that is not what I am inspired to write.

Instead I am writing fiction, believe it or not.  I write fantasy tales (knights and dragons and such) as well as (brace yourselves) a little romance.

This is where my heart is now and what I and following.

As for the speaking side.  I have the speeches and workshops listed on this site, but I am working more as well. In this case, inspiration is also important, but mostly I want to know what inspires YOU that you would like me to speak about.

I haven’t had any speaking gigs in a while, so I am putting this out there.  What do you want to be inspired about?  Let me know (contact me) and I’ll create a speech for you.  In this case it is your passion and questions which inspire me to write and create and deliver a new speech.

So there you go.  And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

But now you know where I’m headed and I hope to see you along the way!

 

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Categories: Awareness, Motivation, Purpose, Story 

Mar 16 2011

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Today I posted a new page on my website,  based on something I’ve been working on for a little while now.

It is an entire page dedicated to ways the world can be happier.

I’ve come up with 114 ways so far, and want your input.

So, take a look over the list and if there is something you want to add, then post a comment on the page and let me know.

I look forward to hearing your suggestions.

Here’s the page: A Happier World

Thanks!

And keep laughing

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Categories: Choice, Fun, Happiness & Laughter, Health, Personal Devleopment, Play, Purpose, Values 

Mar 8 2011

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I challenge you to do nothing but be still and aware of everything that is going on inside and around you for the next minute.

It’s not easy.

As I take a moment to do this now I notice:

  • A dog barking in the distance
  • The hum of my computer
  • The tap of my fingers on the keyboard
  • The computer screen in front of me
  • My feelings of anxiety of the state of my business
  • My feelings of hope and anticipation over the possibility of new things to come from some emails this morning
  • The “oh thank god it’s done” feeling of having finally done my year end and prep for taxes
  • I am a little hungry
  • my breath

And that was just a less than one minute slice of life.  Chances are there were more things, but that gives you a bit of an impression of what a little awareness can give you.

And this is just surface awareness.

The deeper you go into yourself the more you discover and the juicier the discoveries tend to get.

There is a visual representation of “self” that I have seen done in several different ways, all of them essentially saying the same thing. Here is my favourite interpretation:

Imagine a diamond.

This is you, the true you, the core of your being. It knows your purpose in life and what you were meant to do. It knows the answers to all of your deepest questions.

For a while in life it was pure and there for all to see … then life happened.

Over the years the diamond gets covered in crap. We are told how to behave, what to do, when to do it, what to learn, what we are supposed to know and what we are supposed to pretend like we don’t know. So on and so on as society, parents, teachers, and others influence us and tell us who we should be.

This crap covers our inner diamond so thoroughly and completely that we forget our true selves, though we have this faint memory of what we once were, what we could be.

We don’t like this crap that is all over us, it feels icky and wrong so we create a layer of “personality” a false front that we show to the world so that they don’t see our crap. It could be a front of “control”, or “politeness”, or “nastiness” or any number of things, meant to protect us from having others see our crap, which by this point we start to think is who we really are.

And this is how most people go through life, with a false front that covers the “crap” they think is who they are, but is really the influence of everyone else, and having completely forgotten their true selves.

Kind of sad isn’t it.

Well when we start to build awareness, we start to notice things. The cracks in the facade, that the crap is really not us, but our gremlins and fears and history.

If we are diligent diggers of our awareness for long enough we hit pay dirt and find our true selves again.

THAT is the power of building awareness, the joy of discovering who you really are, underneath all the crap.

I think tomorrow I’ll go into how you can do a little of this digging.

Until then, keep laughing.

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Categories: Awareness, Feelings, Perception, Personal Devleopment, Purpose 

Mar 5 2011

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Watching the news from the States, I am appalled that there are so many who are blaming the financial crisis on those “greedy” teachers.

What?

Yeah, I’m sure it was the teachers, not Wall Street or big bank executives. Not the guys who are getting paid five to fifty times as much as teachers and don’t care one whit about the welfare of others. Not the guys who created a flawed system, then got bailed out and are continuing to perpetuate that system, no not them of course.

And you’re wondering what this little rant has to do with Motivation and Joy.

Very simply it is this. Those executives (for the most part) are driven by money and power. These are extrinsic motivators and virtually NEVER result in happiness.

Teachers, I think we can all agree, most likely don’t go into teaching for the money (I can’t speak for all of them, but, you get the point). They do it to help others, out of sense of meaning. This is an intrinsic motivator and generally leads to greater well-being and joy.

If more people understood that money and fame and power DOES NOT BRING happiness, then they might start to look at the things that do and change their perspectives on what is worth working toward and having in life.

In his book Drive Dan Pink talks about the three factors that lead to greater intrinsic motivation, which are:

  • Autonomy – having a sense of volition over our choices
  • Mastery – constant awareness and work toward bettering ourselves in a given area
  • Purpose – having a higher meaning to what we do

He also talks about how when companies use money and other extrinsic rewards as motivators, they ALMOST ALWAYS have the opposite effect and are detrimental to performance and the company’s interests.

I have worked in and around some corporations before and I can remember the term ROI (return on investment) coming up a lot. Invariably, companies want a short ROI, a small time frame for anything they pay for to come to fruition.

This is what happens when you give extrinsic motivators, you get a short term burst in productivity, which invariably falls off over the long run, unless you give even MORE extrinsic motivators.

This is why the Big Band CEOs and execs need to be paid so much money. They don’t really like their work, deep down they know it is hurting the company and the larger world in the long run, but they overpower that knowledge with even more short term “motivation” in the form of money and lots of it, until they forget about such things.

Intrinsic motivation has a much longer ROI, but is pays of HUGE in productivity and positive effects on people and companies.

Teaching also has a long term ROI, as the kids that a teacher works with will hopefully take the lessons taught and apply them much later in life. I think (I can’t know because I’m not a teacher) that this knowledge that their actions help to create a new generation of productive members of society is one of the things that really motivates teachers. Not the money.

So you be the judge, is it teachers that are destroying the economy or bankers.

You only need to look at their motivation to know.

My apologies for the rant.

Keep laughing.

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Categories: Awareness, Choice, Happiness & Laughter, Motivation, Purpose 

Mar 4 2011

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A little while ago I did a post on the Life Mastery Wheel.

Since then I have done some rethinking of this concept and refined it down to what I call the four Ps, which are:

  • Purpose
  • Perspective
  • Programming
  • Persistence

All of these would still be on the foundation of laughter, joy, and social support, and would grow out of that.

The reason I changed it is because of the alliteration, which allows for a better mnemonic device.  Here is a brief overview of what each ‘P’ represents.

Purpose

Grows naturally out of happiness, since I have always believed that one of the keys to happiness is knowing and loving yourself as well as knowing and living your purpose. Knowing yourself also includes uncovering your core values and beliefs, which are closely related to purpose.

Perspective

This encompasses the life mastery steps of Story and Choice.  Perspective is how we see the world.  It grows out of purpose because it stems from our beliefs, which was one of the elements we started uncovering there.  This looks at those things even deeper and how to rewrite our story, and be aware of our choices so that we are living our lives our way, so we are the ones in control.

Programming

Once you are in control of your life, you can start to see where it is not working so well, what behaviours and habits work and what ones don’t.  Programming is the process of changing our behaviours to ones that are positive and beneficial and will help to get us to where we want to be in life.

Persistence

Once you have yourself programmed for success, persistence should come easily, but it is a step none-the-less.  It is the implementing of the Small Steps and continuously working toward Mastery that keeps us on track and guarantees that we will get to where we want to be in life.

One of the key elements that I think lives in ALL of these steps is awareness. In fact, I think if there is an ultimate first step it is to become AWARE of ourselves and use that awareness to start building joy, then purpose, then perspective, and so on. It occurs to me that I don’t think I’ve done a post on the basics of awareness. I’ll have to write that up soon.

So the four ‘P’s represent the same process as the life mastery wheel, but does it in a more compact and easy to remember formula.

I hope you readers out there are able to see the power (hey another ‘P’) in following these steps in your own life.  It may not always be easy.  I know it took me the better part of two years to find my true purpose, but I guarantee you that the results are worth the work.

And remember it’s all built on a foundation of laughter and joy, so it helps if you …

Keep laughing.

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Categories: Awareness, Choice, Happiness & Laughter, Personal Devleopment, Programming Yourself, Purpose, Values 

Feb 26 2011

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Last time I talked about motivation, inspiration, and  programming, and the differences between them.

I maintain that programming yourself is the only real way to get things done, since motivation is often fleeting and inspiration is not action.

So, how do you program yourself?

1) Start with a feeling

Here is where the motivation and inspiration come into play.

Start with a feeling, or emotion, or thought, or value, or belief, or even (if you know it) your purpose in life.  Make sure that whatever you are starting with it is a STRONG emotion and has pull to begin with.

Example:  Your doctor has told you you are over-weight and need to lose at least 30 pounds.  You have known subconsciously for some time that you may have been a little on the heavy side (perhaps there is some guilt/fear/shame attached to this).  You decide firmly that you are going to not only lose this weight but get yourself into shape and be “fit”.  You feel strongly that this will  be good for you and anticipate your future state of health.  You now have a strong (positive) emotion and feeling attached to this, perhaps there is a value of health this is related to also.

NOTE – using a strong NEGATIVE emotion is not recommended, as goals that we set to “move away” from something tend not to be as motivating as “approach” goals, working toward something.  So doing this because you’d feel guilty if you don’t is not a strong motivator for the long run and will probably get you down if you start to “back slide”.

Whatever the Feeling (or value / etc) the key is: Does it feel right for you?

Make sure this is something that will keep you going INITIALLY, it doesn’t need to last forever, but it needs to be strong enough and “right” enough to get you to the next stage, which is …

2) Re-write Your Story

Now it’s possible that you have already done this.  If you are doing a whole life make over I recommend following the four Ps (which I’ll talk more about in another post) which are: Purpose, Perspective, Programming, Persistence.  Usually I would recommend working on your “story” in the perspective stage, before you actually get to programming, but even if you have done this, there is still a little more work you need to do here.

In my post on The Power of Self Suggestion (and it’s follow ups) I talk about how the words I was using and repeating to myself over and over again were seriously affecting how I was living.

THIS is what it means to change or rewrite your story.  Some call it affirmations or other such things, but essentially it comes down to this.  The words you say to yourself regularly, SERIOUSLY affect what you get in life.

Example:  So you are going to lose the 30 pounds and get fit, and yet, there is that nagging voice in your head that keeps saying: “your fat” or “why even try, no diets actually work” or “this is a waste of time, you could be …” or any number of other negative things.  IF these are the words and phrases that you CHOOSE to keep in your head, chances are you won’t get far.  You need new phrases, new words like: “I am working toward being a happy healthy person” or “I can change my life any way I want” or “I am beautiful” etc.

NOTE: you have to BELIEVE these new words, which is why I used phrases like “in the process of” or “working toward”.  Simply saying I am thin and fit, isn’t enough IF you don’t believe it, if you don’t completely think it’s true.  So use the right words to make sure you believe what you are saying and they affirm who you are and your belief in what you are trying to do.

Once you have your new words, say them often and repeatedly.  I suggest saying them AT LEAST 50 times in the morning, then if you are really wanting to ingrain these words fast, another 50 times at lunch and again at dinner and again before bed.

I suggest reading the posts on The Power of Self Suggestion and the ones that followed so you can see how this affected me and what I did about it.

There is MORE!

But I’ve run out of space for today, so I’ll post again soon with the remainder of the steps on how to program yourself  and get things done.

Until then – keep laughing.

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Categories: Action & Risk, Choice, Feelings, Happiness & Laughter, Motivation, Personal Devleopment, Programming Yourself, Purpose, Values 

Feb 19 2011

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The penultimate activity for boosting your happiness level from “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky is:

Practicing Religion & Spirituality

At first I was unsure how to approach this (perhaps a ten foot pole would be useful) since religion tends to be one of those “galvanizing” issues and there is the whole “what if I say the wrong thing” dilemma.

So let me start with a Caveat:

Practicing a religion or a having a strong spiritual belief CAN and DOES increase happiness for a number of reasons listed in the book (I’ll talk about a few in a moment).  If this doesn’t work for you, then try another activity.

To a certain extent is does not matter what religion you follow because most of them tend to have the same happiness boosting attributes of:

  • Social Support
  • Providing Deeper Meaning
  • Meditative Qualities

Also you need not practice a formal “religion” to get these benefits.  “Spirituality” Sonja describes as “a search for the sacred” or something larger than ourselves, which can be pursued in many ways.

Sonja also states in her book that for those who are already in a religion practice, you really already know this and don’t necessarily need any of these tips on how to maximize your happiness, this is more for those who want to know more about religion and spirituality and what it can offer.

  • Seek Meaning and Purpose – I am a HUGE proponent of knowing  your purpose, and religion/spirituality can offer something in that regard.  As a note, it is also very possible to find meaning and purpose outside of religion as well.
  • Pray – I like to think of prayer as an active meditation.  A focusing of our awareness on a deity/what is sacred to us and through that connection deriving strength, belief, reassurance, and peace.
  • Find the Sacred in the Everyday – develop an ability to see the divine and the holy in all things and in all people.  As Sonja writes: “a meal can be holy, so can a child’s laughter, or a new snowfall”.

So, there is something about religion and spirituality that lifts us up and provides great strength and love and peace in our lives (all positive emotions).  So if this activity is one you want to pursue, find what works for you and enjoy the faith, belief, and social benefits of it.

Next time: Taking Care of Your Body.

Until then, keep laughing – some say it brings us closer to the divine.

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Categories: Awareness, Feelings, Happiness & Laughter, Personal Devleopment, Purpose, Relationships, The How of Happiness 

Feb 14 2011

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The sixth happiness boosting activity from “The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky is:

Developing Strategies for Coping

There are lots of times when we are in stressful or difficult situations.  Knowing how to deal with them when they come up is a way to minimize their negative impact and keep up our happiness.

Some examples of such events: a friend/loved one/family member/pet has passed on, pressure and deadlines at work, you find our your baby has a heart problem and needs immediate surgery, your car is totaled in an accident and your insurance just ran out,  a friend or possible intimate is not returning calls, etc.

Psychology tends to divide coping into two types: problem focused and emotion focused.

problem focused people tend to want to act – take the problem into their own hands and deal with it.

Emotion Focused people tend to want to simply manage their emotions around the event in whatever way works.

In general people tend to use problem focused coping when they believe something constructive can be done about the problem, and emotion focused when it is something that simply must be endured.

Both types are valuable and useful in different situations.

Lyubomirsky also mentions (and this is something I’ve come across many times in my research) that if we tend to have a more postive outlook in general, we can actually find benefit and even thrive after times of hardship.

This is called Post Traumatic Growth.

“What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger”  is a cliche for a reason.

Why?

Because when you are confronted with such dire times it forces you to confront your own sense of self – who you are, what are your priorities, where do you find meaning, and so on.  It can be a very transformative experience, that can create the following experiences:

  • Renewed belief in self and ability to endure / prevail
  • Improved relationships – discovering who your true friends are
  • Feeling more comfortable with intimacy and greater compassion
  • Developing a deeper, more sophisticated, more satisfying philosophy of life

So the question is HOW do you do this right?

Some important factors to thriving are:

  • Social support
  • Finding meaning in what is happening
  • Perseverance and keeping an attitude of optimistic and positive growth.
  • Remembering to live your life to it’s fullest.

Here are some of the specific activities she mentions:

Expressive Writing – write about a traumatic experience in detail and explore your feelings around it fully.  Do this for 15 to 30 min. a day for three to five days, or until you feel everything has been fully expressed.  This activity helps people let such things go and participants in studies find that after they do this they have: enhanced immune function, less depression and distress, and do better in school or work.  (These effects probably stem from the fact that we have less stress around that event now in general)

Finding Benefit – As a more guided for of writing (or talking to others) try these three steps:

  1. Acknowledge that your loss or trauma has caused you a great deal of pain and suffering.  Consider what you have done during this loss or in response to it that you are proud of.
  2. Consider how much you have grown as a result of your loss.  Any new perspectives, new beliefs, greater compassion, gratitude, patience, tolerance, etc.
  3. Finally think about how the trauma has positively affected your relationships.  Are they stronger, closer, more supportive?

This might help you to find some good that has come out of a negative experience.

Thought Disputation

This involved challenging negative thoughts you have when bad things happen.  It follows the following pattern

  • Adversity – write down the nature of the bad event or problem.
  • Belief – identify any negative beliefs or perspectives that have come up around this.
  • Consequence – record the consequences of the problem (how you are feeling and acting as a result
  • Dispute – challenge the negative belief, thinking of other possible reasons for the problem.
  • Energize – considering more optimistic explanations for you problem lifts your spirits so that you become less anxious and more hopeful

Example:

  • A – my best friend has called in three weeks.
  • B – she must hate me.
  • C – I feel miserable / I’ve never been good at keeping friends.
  • D – perhaps she has been extremely busy (I remember her mentioning a big thing at work she was working on.  Maybe she is feeling down herself and is wondering why I haven’t called.
  • E – now that I think about it I do have lots of close friends.  I really should give her a call and talk with her. Also I think I will go to that party I was going to skip out on tonight after all!

The hardest part of this is the disputation – challenging an existing belief to the point that you can change it to something more positive.   Here are some tips to consider:

  • What concrete evidence to I have?
  • What alternative explanations might there be?
  • Even if my belief is true, is it really that bad?
  • What is the best possible thing that could come out of this?
  • What do I honestly think is the most likely outcome?
  • Is this belief useful to me?  What do I get out of having it?
  • What can I do / what do I plan to do to address this?

By the way coaches are great people to help bring up some of these questions and help to challenge beliefs you want to change.

Next time: Learning to Forgive.

Until then, keep laughing, it’s also a great way to help cope!

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Categories: Awareness, Choice, Feelings, Happiness & Laughter, Personal Devleopment, Programming Yourself, Purpose, Relationships, Stress, The How of Happiness, Values 

Jan 9 2011

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I’ve talked a lot about purpose recently, and about how finding yours is really the first step to having a full, happy, and fulfilling life.

What I haven’t talked about is HOW you can find your purpose.

I think I may have, a long time ago, talked about certain ways that I use in my seminars and such, but really those are more experiential (ie, they work best when you are working with a coach right there to help you through them) and they can take some time.

So what I am going to talk about today is really a quick and dirty Purpose finding tool.

Now chances are you won’t nail down your purpose right away, this is a process and it takes time, but you can at least start to build awareness around it and get yourself closer to discovering it.

Step 1- Know that you have a purpose

This may seem a bit obvious, but it is necessary to mention for two reasons.  One some people tend to overlook or disregard the obvious and Two, some people really don’t think they have any great purpose.

The first step in finding your purpose is simply believing that you have one, that you are worthy of something bigger than yourself to which your life is dedicated.

I did a post a while ago (I think it was Inspirational Quotes to Ponder #4) that talked about the phrase “Your life is an occasion, rise to it”, that is essentially saying the same thing.

You are important and significant and you DO have a purpose you are meant to be working toward in this life.

Believe it.

Step 2 – Brainstorming

Once you firmly believe that you have a purpose and now want to know what it is, ask yourself these questions:

  • What am I doing when I am most engaged (in flow)?
  • Who am I being when I’m “being myself”?
  • What am I doing or who am I being in those moment when the world just feels right and “everything is perfect”?
  • What have people told me I am good at?
  • What did I get scolded/rewarded for doing as a child?
  • If I was going to help someone else, what would I want to help them with, or help them do?
  • What do I value? / What is most important to me in this world?
  • If I’m doing something I really enjoy, is there a deeper meaning or reason to why I’m doing that?
  • What or who inspires me?  Why?
  • What is the one thing I long to do or be (whether or not it is attainable)?

Ask yourself these types of questions, the more the better, and start to look at the answers.  Are there similarities or recurring themes?  If so around what?

Chances are this will get you close, or at least on the right track to discovering your purpose.

WARNING

Don’t fall into the trap (when looking at the above questions) of thinking that “what I do” and “my job” are the same thing.  It is possible that you might loose yourself in your work from time to time, but when I ask these questions I want you to look at your entire life including hobbies, recreation, relationships, etc.

Let me give you an example from my own life.

For the question:  If I’m doing something I really enjoy, is there a deeper meaning or reason to why I’m doing that?   I really enjoyed writing, but when I ask myself if there is a deeper reason for doing this, it is because I want others to enjoy my stories and feel happy.

Hmmm, and my purpose is to make the world a happier place, interesting.

So give it a try and see what you come up with.

Step 3 – Keep working at it

Keep digging and asking yourself deep questions like this, and narrowing down options until you have that OH-MY-GOD-THAT’S-IT moment when you come up with some simple phrase that completely sums up YOU and what you were meant to do or be.

Until then, keep laughing and uncovering your purpose.

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Categories: Awareness, Personal Devleopment, Purpose 

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